Yes sir. Its coming and it promises to be the best biggest, the bestest, the grandest, the most amazing show that India/World will ever see. What the hell am I talking about? Sir, I'm talking about the IPL.
Caught you on silly point, have I? Don't understand what I'm talking about? No problem. I've decided to write this FAQ-esque article to help the uninitiated and others to understand the brilliance of this circus. I hope I can answer some frequently asked questions that I've conjured up myself.
What is this IPL hoopla?
IPL is short for Indian Premier League. It is a 20-20 cricket show game. No not the insect. The sport cricket. It is the brain child of someone not working for the BCCI(Bad Codgers Cricket Idiots/Board of Control for Cricket in India) but claimed by the lot that its their master plan. Something that they have been planning for eons. Since the birth of Adam. Not going to talk about Eve here because its against the ethos of the BCCI & ICC (Idiotic Cricket Codgers). Also do not confuse between IPL and ICL(don't really know what that is. My cable fellow refuses to show it).
What is this 'Cricket' thing I keep ranting about?
Cricket is a lovely game invented by a very bright gentleman. Smashing fellow, he was. Wherever he went, "for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow" could be heard in the background. The fellow invented it to escape the 'old-ball-and-chain' in summer times in Ole England, to be with mates, drink beer and have a break for afternoon tea (with a spot of milk).
Its a gentleman's game which involves a bat and a bowl. 11 gentlemen (beer bellies included) on each team. The aim of the game is to score more runs than the opposition. A run is when the batting gentlemen decide to leisurely exchange ends on the pitch. Also part of the game is vicious swearing at your opponents and imitation of various primates. Although runs aren't awarded for this as yet. Then the other team tries to out do their opposition.
Played over 3 hours or 1 day or 3 days or 5 days. Confused? Yes. Thats why the olympics don't want to have this sport. By the time a game finishes the International Olympic Committee usually declares who is hosting the next Olympics. The last time they had this game in the Olympics was in 1900 in Paris, The french team lost in the finals and got so frustrated that they've given up the game since then and have resorted to drinking wine for the rest of their lives.
Boooh-ring! I'm sleepy.
I don't blame you. I blame my pathetic attempt at explaining this beautiful game. The down side is that this princely game is only played properly by 9 countries + the Caribbean islands(as one). So if you aren't born watching this game, its tough to get into it. Its primarily watched by old people while reading old people's books, alcoholic English supporters, do or die Aussies, and a billion god fearing Indians to name a few.
So who is in the IPL?
Well there is Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta and her Boyfriend, the rich indian boys, Ambani and Mallaya, some cement bag, a newspaper, a road building company and an unknown. Oh you meant the teams. There are 8 teams and they have all lost the plot in naming themselves. Like so:
- Mumbai Indians (ummm.. like they are the only indians?)
- Delhi DareDevils (hahahahahaha! daredevils? I think its in reference to Sehwag leading, they are taking a big risk)
- Chennai Super Kings (because Superstars was taken and they needed to sound like a cigarette brand)
- Kolkata Knight Riders (Seriously!? This is the dumbest name ever for a team, maybe they'll solve crime as well.)
- Bangalore Royal Challengers (an alcoholic team/seriously only want to play the other royals)
- Mohali (yet to name themselves, busy trying to find Yuvraj a girlfriend presently)
- Hyderabad Deccan Chargers (hehehe! What are they charging at?)
- Jaipur Rajasthan Royals (This is the only name I like)
Ref: Click Here to read more : Savin Vijay : Best Part Ahead
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